I feel him sometime....

Tonight, I am not just looking at the stars, but staring into my past as well. Constellations shine with the light that was emitted eons ago, and i wait for something to come to me, words that a poet might use to illuminate life's mysteries. I am at a lose to tell you what is that I feel my life is missing. I was a simple person once but then now I do think "everything is perception". I can sometimes lose track of time when staring at a sky filled with wind whipped clouds, and when I hear thunder rumbling, I always draw near the window to watch for lightening. I feel him sometimes. Having someone in life is blessing because there is an outlet for everyday strains of life; it is a curse too, because the outlet is someone you care deeply about. I feel nostalgic when I cross that bridge where we met for the first time. Life is not suppose to be stagnant, without him I have learned to live but then when in many people, I take deep breathe I feel the ambivalence. My throat chocks. Soon I recollect and cherish those moments for life time. Someday when I close my eyes, I remember some circumstances, some subjects of humorous anecdotes. His charm, laughter, the way he stared at me, his stupidity and his wooing have never ceased to amaze me. Meeting him was certainly a serendipity. I am a classical dancer. I perform Katthak. Love happens and same in our case. But he left me alone, went far... far where I could not find him... I cant even wait for him. I lost him forever. It was a road accident. Love is not mere walking hand in hand and sharing that divine silence, but it is when whole universe conspires that somebody loves you more than anything. The very feeling might be wordless. Now I dance for him, I feel him through colours, aroma and senses. Rightly said by someone, "love is a state of mind when mind is not in state." Long five years have past, I now live sometimes in my world; where he exists; where we are together; where we talk, we walk together. I write romance, and yes I do agree when people say that I live in different world sometime. At nights, in rains, in breeze, traveling in thousands of people, having coffee alone in coffee shop, watching those couples near the shore, he surrounds me. As if life rewinds and I live those moments again. I see my empty hands and I then feel his touch, he holds me to himself, closer to his heart. Whispers, "nothing lasts forever!" My love is in keeping him alive within me, dancing with all passion as if he could see me.And then for the briefest instant, it almost feels like we're together again....

I love him, yes I do, I feel him sometime...