Knock on my door, “Sorry, I just wanted some ice for my whisky, saw you from balcony!” I still remember his words, a handsome man with a glass. I smiled and that was the day my smile had something of serendipity! Sooner I discovered that he is a journalist and works late night. Loneliness is always not so desired after a threshold. We had numerous conversations through balcony.
And the finest night, again the same knock with a virile voice, “Yajur here!” The day when I invited him in, he was gazing my home, as if he liked it a lot. The noiselessness situation was putting me to death. I put the music system ON with one of my favorite track-
Ranjish hi sahi, dil hi dukhane k liye aa..
aa firse mujhe chodke jaane k liye aa…
The gold in his eyes seemed to harden from liquid to solid. My skin as if burnt with the flames, we sat near the window with mugs of hot coffee. He uttered, “You have the most captivating eyes I have seen so far, believe me you are an addiction.” I blushed and felt breathless for the briefest second. Witty flirts and silence, a long one. I realized, I have moved so close to him, I could feel his sweet breath washed- cold and delicious- over my face, “I already miss you” I was sure it being a long night, the war of Me Against Myself. It was quite a moment, just the thud of my heart hammering, the broken rhythm of our ragged breathing, and the whisper of our lips moving in synchronization.
I indeed was holding someone more angel than man in my arms, but he made it seem like nothing at all to have his lips against my lip, my face, my throat. I could run my hand down his stone chest, tracing across the flat planes of his stomach, just marveling. A light shudder rippled through him, and his mouth found mine. Carefully, I let the tip of my tongue press against his smooth lips, and he sighed.
I pulled myself away, or was that the reflex reaction when I most want to keep going on. He rose, pushed me against the wall, crushed with his body, hissed near my ear, “You cast a spell on me, camouflage with luring eyes, I surrender, you caught me”, I could feel his fastened heart beats and trembling lips, “I love you” We smiled, while he was caressing my hair, I was looking down, searching for the words, I lacked them then, just a hysterical smile burst through my lips again, which in turn sets him in always. Suddenly, his wintery fingers caressed the back of my neck and felt my perspiration. The condition when I was as restless as I was wishing to live all these moments in his hug. A rush of heat flashed across my skin again, little waves rolled away from his movements and broke against my skin.
He raised my free hands across the surface of the wall, they didn’t tremble, and I took one out and put it on his left side of chest, on his heart. He shuddered the tiniest bit at my warm touch. His breath came rougher now; felt like every nerve ending in my body was a live wire. I murmured, “Do we belong together?” He nodded and the smooch was the most passionate deed in the world. I could feel the smooth lines of his back, shoulders, his arms, his neck, his flawless shape. I was too happy to change anything, no matter how small. The only sound I could hear was our breathing, my heartbeats. His fingers softly trailed down the contours of my body, as if he never felt anything so soft like my skin, I kept my eyes shut and tightened my arms around his neck, holding myself very close to him. His hands could feel some patterns on my skin, as he put his hands into my soft pink T-shirt. I could feel his stubble as he kissed my neck, biting my ears and tickling me, felt as if even the fabric may apart us. I could feel him, every part of him, and I guess it is true vice versa.
The night was the most romantic thing I have experienced. Morning, 6 am, I was afraid to open my eyes, I felt as if he was scrubbing back of my hand against my eyes. The senseless tears were disturbing, he laughed once at the logic. It was just a dawn, beautiful one.
Years later, when I look at my husband, I press my hands to his face again and the memory of the first night of my new life, soon when I laugh, he kisses to interrupt my efforts of memorizing them. The night with Yajur, no doubt was unforgettable, but then when I innocently rub my nose against my husband’s nose, he makes me remember the morning, Yajur, on that sweet dawn, asked, “Can I get to keep you forever?” I am married to him now.
Life is far beyond words, I struggled to get some for me, though it was like Me Against Myself.
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